Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
