i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
