So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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