I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
