Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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