thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
