I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize