oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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