My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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