Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
