Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize