Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
