I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
