I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
