one might say we're banned from that church
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
