4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
