Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
