I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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