I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
