It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
