u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
