I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
