sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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