I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
