Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize