Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
