Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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