I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
