he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
