I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
