belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
