No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
