Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
