ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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