As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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