I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
