Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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