Nicole vs. Life
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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