Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
