I think I died a long time ago.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
