Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
