What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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