i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
