Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
