whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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