I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
