My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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