He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
