The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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