When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
