You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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