Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
