she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize