Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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