i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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