she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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