it's too hot outside to masturbate.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
