His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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