Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
