Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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