so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My ATM looks so different sober.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
