I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
